Be There
Scripture
2 Samuel 23:9
"And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo the Ahohite, one of the three mighty men with David when they defied the Philistines who were gathered there to battle and the men of Israel had withdrawn."
Notice that Eleazar, one of the three mighty men, was with David. No matter how popular, powerful, or prestigious, men need other men to be there. We are not told what was said between the men because that is not important. The fact that he, and the other two mighty men, were there with David was the key. The ministry of presence is powerful.There is no substitute for being there when people need you. It’s not necessarily what you say or don’t say, but it’s you just showing up and being there to hurt your friend. People are not looking for clichés and pat spiritual answers. They need you to be there to love them, sit with them, weep with them, laugh with them, or listen to God with them.5 Lessons on Being There:
- Develop a small list of men you could call at any time of the day or night to drop what they are doing and come to your side. These are the men you can call at 2 a.m.
- Be willing to be there for other men in your life and let them know you would be there for them.
- Remember that men are not looking for spiritual-sounding cliches or even quoting Scripture. They simply want someone who will hurt them, weep with them, and listen to God with them. In that moment of need, even praying and reading Scripture may not be the most important thing. Just be there with them and for them. Don’t feel you have to speak. It’s probably better if you don’t.
- You must be willing to put your time, comfort, and convenience on the altar and be there for your friend. A call is great, and a text is fine; however, nothing takes the place of you showing up.
- Refuse to judge what the hurting friend says to you. He needs permission to vent without feeling you will judge him. He may say things he doesn’t mean. Don’t give him a lecture on why what he said was not correct. Let him say what’s on his heart and love him through it. The Holy Spirit will convict. That’s not your job.
The greatest gift you can give to another brother who is going through a difficult time is the gift of being there. (From the devotional “31 Lessons From David’s Mighty Men”).