BUILDING YOUR BEST RELATIONSHIPS (Part 2)
A friend loves at all times (Part 2)
In our last blog we looked at Building Your Best Relationships. We noted there are two basic relationships in life: (1) Your Relationship with God, the Vertical and (2) Your relationship with People, the Horizontal. When your vertical relationship is right, your horizontal relationships have the capacity to build and keep relationships.
We gave the characteristics of:
I Be Loving.
“A friend loves…” (Proverbs 17:17)
Love is two things: (1) Love is something you Choose (Colossians 3:14). (2) Love is something you Do.
II Be Committed
Proverbs 17:17 “A brother is born, for adversity.” Proverbs 18:24 “A friend that sticks closer than a brother.” Adversity means distress and trouble.
III Be Friendly
Proverbs 18:24 NKJV “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Be nice. Speak to people. Be interested in people. Affirm people. Compliment people honestly. Friendly people are simply contagious.
Let’s continue on with more ways on how to build and keep relationships:
IV BE TRUTHFUL
Proverbs 12:14; 17; 19
Be honest with people. Tell them how you feel. Don’t expect people to read your mind. Relationships are built on trust and trust is built on truth.
If there is a problem, share it, don’t let it go hoping it will get better. If there is something bothering you, get it out provided it’s not something the person can’t change. Don’t say things just to flatter people. Don’t say things to people just to get them to like you. Flattery says to one’s face what you wouldn’t say behind one’s back. It will lead to problems later on.
Be willing to confront when necessary. Be transparent. Be who you are. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Be real.
V BE SENSITIVE
People have moods, don’t they?
Proverbs 27:14
Proverbs 12:18
It’s knowing when to speak up and knowing when to shut up. When to laugh, when not to laugh. It's knowing when a person needs some time and space. It’s watching not only what you say, but how you say it. Watch that tone.
VI BE CONFIDENTIAL
Keep confidences. When someone says, “Don’t tell,” don’t tell anybody except God.
Proverbs 25:9-10
VII BE FORGIVING
Proverbs 19:11
Mark 11:26
If you don’t forgive, your relationship with God will not be right, thus your relationships with people won’t be right. Forgiveness is Surrendering your Right to Hurt Back Someone who has Hurt you.
VIII BE LISTENING
As a result of initially missing his brother’s important message, James later suggested in the book he wrote, “Everyone should be quick to listen” (James 1:19), so that vital information won’t be missed.
Proverbs 4:1 “Listen and grow wise.”
Let the other person talk. Pay attention with your eyes, your ears, and your body. Ask questions. Listening says, “I want to hear what you have to say.”
IX BE LAUGHING
Proverbs 15:13;15
Someone said that “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Learn to laugh at you and with people. Lighten up!
Proverbs 17:22
Laughter attracts people, draws them to you. It makes them feel at ease. It makes you touchable. Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper. It doesn’t permanently change things but makes things more tolerable for a while.
X BE CAUTIOUS
There are some relationships you shouldn’t build. There are some toxic people that you should NOT befriend. There are some people, even those I considered friends, whom I have had to divorce because they were affecting me negatively.
The book of Proverbs warns us about wrong relationships. Avoid those who will attempt to pull you out of God’s will.
Proverbs 4:14-15
I Corinthians 15:33
People can drag you down. They can be instruments of the devil to pull you off God’s path of real happiness. Avoid negative people. They can wear you down.
Proverbs 6:27-29
II Corinthians 6:14
XI BE PRAYING
Pray for your relationships. Let God get involved. As you earnestly pray for someone God can work supernaturally in that person’s life.
James 5:16 out of the Amplified Bible says, “…the earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available—dynamic in its working.”
Start praying for that friend or that relationship you don’t have yet perhaps. Pray over those broken relationships. Don’t give up. Prayer is powerful. Give God time to work.
You can begin to build your best relationships today.
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