“And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo the Ahohite, one of the three mighty men with David when they defied the Philistines who were gathered there to battle and the men of Israel had withdrawn.”
2 Samuel 23:9
Notice that Eleazar, one of the three mighty men, was with David. No matter how popular, powerful, or prestigious, men need other men to be there. We are not told what was said between the men because that is not important. The fact that he, and the other two mighty men, were there with David was the key. Saul was attempting to kill David because of his jealousy. These three men showed up for David when he needed them the most. The ministry of presence is powerful.
There is no substitute for being there when people need you. It’s not necessarily what you say or don’t say, but it’s you just showing up and being there to hurt with your friend. People are not looking for clichés and pat spiritual answers. They just need you being there to love them, sit with them, weep with them, laugh with them, or listen for God with them.
Here are 5 Lessons on Being There for your Other Brother:
- Develop a small list of men you could call on anytime of the day or night to drop what they are doing and come to your side. These are the men you can call at 2 a.m.
- Be willing to be there for other men in your life and let them know you would be there for them.
- Remember that men are not looking for spiritual-sounding cliches or even quoting Scripture. They simply want someone who will hurt with them, weep with them, and listen for God with them. Even praying and reading Scripture may not be the most important in that moment of need. Just be there with them and for them. Don’t feel you have to speak. It’s probably better if you don’t.
- You must be willing to put your time, comfort, and convenience on the altar and be there for your friend. A call is excellent, and a text is fine; however, nothing takes the place of you actually showing up.
- Absolutely refuse to judge what the hurting friend says to you. He needs permission to vent without feeling you will judge him. He may say things he doesn’t mean. Don’t give him a lecture on why what he said was not correct. Let him say what’s on his heart and love him through it. The Holy Spirit will convict. That’s not your job.