You should be a detective to your husband. Here is what I mean. Make it a daily endeavor to know your husband, to understand him. You need to discover what he likes, what he doesn’t like, what makes him smile, what discourages him, what motivates him and what he is passionate about. The more you know about him, the better you can help meet his needs. Your marriage is a classroom, and your husband is your major subject. Obviously, in order to really know him you must spend time with him. So many married couples describe their marriage as being like roommates instead of intimate friends and lovers. The tragedy is, it doesn’t have to be that way but you must become intentional.
Proverbs 4:7 says: “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.”
Understanding means discernment, knowing, in fact, clearly knowing.
The writer of Proverbs tells us to passionately pursue understanding. Understanding your husband means knowing not only what helps him, but why it helps him. Daily make it your intention to know him better today than you did yesterday and tomorrow better than you did today. The more you understand your husband, the more you can be the wife he needs.
5 WAYS TO UNDERSTAND YOUR HUSBAND
- Ask your husband questions about what he thinks, feels, etc. Get creative about how to do that.
- Seek to know how you two are different from each other. Let those differences be building blocks instead of roadblocks. Discover his “Love Language” using Gary Chapman’s excellent book, “ The Five Love Languages.”
- Understand that your husband is unique, one of a kind and has unique needs. He is different from your friends’ husbands. Encourage him to change what he can, and learn to love in him what he can’t change.
- Use Questions to determine how you can help him, questions that require more than “Yes” or “No” answers. “What do you think God is wanting to do in your life,” is a good place to being with him. Remember, he loves and trusts you.
- Make it a life-long pursuit to understand your husband. You will be so glad you did.