“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Scripture is very specific in telling both husband and wife what the other needs. A great marriage is where both husband and wife seek to discover those needs and strive daily to meet those needs. Ephesians 5:33 exemplifies the specific need a husband and wife have. For the husband, he needs respect, his wife’s admiration. But notice Paul says for the wife. She needs love, love that comes exclusively from her husband.
This is not to suggest your wife doesn’t need respect. She does, we all do. However, whereas it is a husband’s greatest need, love is the wife’s. Let’s hone in on that word love, what it means, and how to apply it to bless your wife. If that is her greatest need, we as husbands need to know what it is and how to give it.
The word love here is not to be mistaken for infatuation or lust, nor is it a certain feeling. Love here only comes from God and a relationship with Him and is not possible outside of Christ. Love is an action, a choice, a matter of your will. This love is committed, sacrificial, and unconditional. The idea is the object this love is someone very precious. The context of the verse means this action is never withheld. It is active, not a passive love. True love is a choice that acts.
5 Ways To Love Your Wife
- Focus on making loving your wife God’s way, every single day. Ask yourself, Am I showing the kind of love for my wife that Jesus showed for me as He hung on the cross?”
- Tell her, “I Love You.” often. Although love isn’t just words, telling her that you love her affirms and encourages your wife. It helps her know that you are thinking about her and want her to know how much you care. I knew of one older couple who had this communication before they left their house that morning. The husband said to his wife, “I just want to say ‘I love you.’”
“I cannot stand the thought that something would happen to me and those not be my last words to you.” They headed into town and while in the car he had a massive heart attack and died. You never know when your words may be the last words you speak.
- Ask yourself, “What can I do today to show my wife that I love her, and that I am passionately committed to her?”
- When you demonstrate love to your wife, don’t expect anything in return. That is God’s kind of love.
- Discover your wife’s Love Language. Study Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages or go online and find out how to discover her love language. When you do, practice it continually. Go to www.5LoveLanguages.com
What does it mean when you say to your wife “I love you?” It means you are making a daily choice to be committed to her, serving her, adoring her, cherishing her, sacrificing for her, and a willingness to do anything for her today and forever. Wingman, love your wife!